❝ Chase your dreams ❞
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4 APRIL
Posted Wednesday, 4 April 2018 // 11:47 am
 It's another workday all over again. Life has fallen into this mundane routine of work and school on weekdays and spending time with Wesley on weekends. Am I unknowingly now a part of the rat race? This is definitely not I wish for but all of it seems necessary in the current society that it is only normal if you go through this phase of life. Can life be more meaning than just trying to keep yourself alive? We have reached the point where a degree is not good enough and more people are considering masters. All the sick-and-tired-of-life-faces I see every morning is torturing. Everyone seems to rather be anywhere but here. I guess I'm no exception. As much as I hope for a change, this is necessary and I have 1 more year to endure. So many times I don't think I'm strong enough to get through this and when I feel like giving up, Wesley tells me it hurts him to see me struggling to survive every day but I have to finish it and no matter what he will support me. Just last year, it was 2 more years till I'm done and now I'm left with 1 year. And even though I find time to be passing by very slowly, we are already one third into 2018. Looking back at 2016, time went by pretty fast. First it started with graduation then joining the corporate world followed by Wesley's enlistment and all the staycations we managed to squeeze in here and there. 2016 then ended with Loy Krathong in Chiang Mai with my parents, a visit to Wuhan village with other volunteers and my 1st anniversary with Wesley. In 2017, I started my part time degree and have since completed 2 semester, got my braces installed and Wesley commissioned as an Officer. Recently he was promoted from 2LT to LTA and will ORD soon. Wesley and I even went for a 2 weeks long trip, touring Malaysia, Bangkok and Ho Chi Minh and celebrated Christmas and New Year there. I am so close to the finishing point but at the same time, the finish line seems so far. Whether I like this life or not, since I have chosen to start it, I have to do my best to finish it. After all, many times when I thought to myself, if given a chance again back in 2013, I would still have signed the sponsorship with BCA and sign a 3 years contract with this company in 2016. This sponsorship and 3 years bond has caused me to lose my opportunity to continue my studies as a full time student but they have given me many greater opportunities to grow into an adult, be more independent and most importantly, understand credit cards and my own financial limits. I can now proudly say I paid for my diploma and degree school fees in full by myself, obtain my driving license and paid for everything myself. I even got braces done, which was something I have always wanted, and am currently paying for them myself. I even got my first credit card as a primary holder and so far I have been punctual with my payments and the bank has yet to fine me or send me any warning letters. I am able to live independently and pay for my bills and expenses myself without asking a cent from my parents. I do not know how many 21 years old are able to do that, but I did it. Adult fare is every student’s nightmare and it was mine too. Since my workplace is at least 50 minutes away from my house, I spent quite a bit of money just on transport itself. If I were to include in meals and not budget my spending carefully, a huge fraction of my pay will be gone. Meals outside is not as cheap as they are in school and if you are thinking of fancy coffee every morning, instagrammable lunch every afternoon, you will probably be broke before the end of every month. Coming into the corporate world at just 20 is scary and lonely. It is a time I should be in school studying like any other 20 years old. So many times I questioned my own decisions and wonder if I missed out on the full time university student life which I will never be able to get it back. Everyone at my workplace, especially my immediate colleagues are old enough to be my parents, some even my grandparents. I was just a timid little girl, looking up at all these full of years of experience people and wonder if I will be like them some day. I was afraid of hearing my desk phone ring and would always hesitate for a while before picking it up. Whenever my boss asked me to go over to his desk, I pray it would be not too tough for me. My mailbox was always empty and I wonder if everyone’s mailbox is empty too. When I have mail, I stress over how I should reply them; do I start with “Dear” or “Hi” and how should I end it then. “Dear” seems too intimate and “Hi” seems to causal. I even google how I should reply corporate emails and I decide, fuck it. I will just go with “Hi” and only use “Dear” when it should be formal or official. I was scared of contacting contractors and until now it is still something I put them on hold till I really need to get it. The awkward silence when I wait for them to go through the contracts and finally signing them is still something I hate the most. Sometimes I wonder if they will be able to tell I am just an inexperienced 20 years old. Have you ever look at someone and feel like you should be on your best around them and when they asked to see you, you get nervous? For cadets, this person would probably be your OC or CO. For me, it was my GM and every time I hear her calling someone on her phone, which is always on loudspeaker and I hear my phone ringing, I know immediately that she is looking for me. “Can you come over?” these were the four terrifying words for me the first few times I heard it from her. What would a General Manager want from a small fry like me? Now that I am 22, I have been on this job for 2 years and have handled at least 80 contracts; I think I have grown more confident and knowledgeable. I have a few friends in the office and an office mum that gets me breakfast almost every morning. I am so thankful to always have people looking out for me no matter where I am. When my desk phone rings, I pick them up immediately and I reply emails without having to stress about if I am replying them correctly. When my GM looks for me, I am less scared of going into her room and see her now. I have also learnt not to finish my work too fast (at least not in this office), if not I will have nothing to do and it sucks to be bored. During my 2 years here, I am most proud of myself for completing 3 Marina Barrage contracts, with little to no help. During the time while I was doing it, I was always stressed and frustrated but I am glad I did it. I have grown up. This year, I am 22 and I had my “22nd on the 22nd” in February. My 21st was lots of first for me and I think I have done a not too bad job in surviving and become an adult. A real adult that is responsible for my own actions and choices. When I typed all of these, life was great and work was fine but that didn’t last very long. All of sudden I was required to move to one of their subsidiary which is out of HQ and not convenient for me to get to. The sudden changes to work environment, workload, job scope and colleagues are a little scary and frustrating. I am just hoping it doesn't affect my studies in any way. To be honest, I didn't felt that it was fair for me in any way since no one asked if I’m okay with the move or if I wanted this move. “It’s the CEO’s instruction” was all I got. Just 1 more year and this shouldn’t be too hard to get by considering the fact that I have survived 2 years. In 2018, Wesley will be starting his degree with me and when 2018 ends, I will be starting my last semester in 2019 and will graduate when I am 23. 23 is quite a late age to be graduating from university for girls as compared to those that did full time studies. I have no regrets now that I have started my programme with Singapore University of Social Science. I agree it is by no means the top schools as compared to NTU, NUS or SMU but when I graduate from SUSS, I will be a 23 years old girl, Bachelor of Science in Facilities and Events Management. That is not all, I will be that 23 years old girl with a degree and a 3 years working experience who is independent and capable of going anywhere. The Sky is the limit and I will not be hold back by anything that requires working experience and I will not be that inexperienced 23 years old girl. In fact, the Sky in today’s world is no longer the limit and we have gone beyond the sky. With determination and smart work, we can achieve anything we want. MY BRACES JOURNEY
Posted Thursday, 14 December 2017 // 3:46 pm
 Whatever it is I’m determined to put on braces despite all the pain I know I will have to go through. I was having my driving lessons last year and I cannot afford to have 2 huge expenses going out every month while saving for my school fees at the same time. I decided to start my braces journey after I have completed my driving lessons. While waiting for the time to come, I researched on multiple clinics, how much it cost etc. When I went for my dental cleaning, my dentist told me that having braces will have a higher chance of plaque and decay and you will have to clean your teeth more frequently. One of my wisdom teeth is bothering me as it’s only halfway out and it is not easy to clean between the tooth and the gum but he is just a normal dentist and refused to do any extractions for me until I consult the orthodontist since I have the intention to put on braces. June 2017, I finally passed my driving test and have sufficient money for the consultation and booked my first appointment with iDental on 10 June via Facebook Messenger. I decided to go with iDental as they offer student packages for part time students while many only apply for full time students. Their rates are one of the cheaper ones too, $3.5k doesn’t matter how many sessions you need and it includes first consultation. Although retainers are not included, they are charging $450 and above per pair. On top of what I’ve mentioned, iDental Customer Relationship Officers, from Facebook enquiries to hotline and front desk, they are 10/10. It’s almost like a friendly friend there to coax you into booking an appointment with them. iDental has a few outlet but I chose Capital Tower since it is nearer to my workplace and more centralized. First Consultation (10 June 2017) Moving on to first consultation, my orthodontist dentist, Dr Dian Samijono (University of Melbourne, Australia) is a nice, young and gentle girl. At least that’s what I thought until my first wisdom tooth surgery. First consultation cost $220 which includes X-rays, photo taking and constructing your teeth model. Instead of having to bite into dough like substance, iDental uses a scanner to go around your teeth. Second Consultation (24 June 2017) I made my appointment in the evening and went down after work for the review. We talked about my teeth, look at my X-rays and discuss how my teeth can be corrected. This is also where they will inform you the packages they are offering and how much it would cost. The second consultation is free as it is only a review. For braces, I would have to extract 4 teeth, including 1 milk (baby) tooth and 2 wisdom teeth that’s optional but it’s a you’ll-have –to-do-it-sooner-or-later kind of thing so I decided to just remove it. If you are curious about the milk tooth, there isn’t any adult tooth above the milk tooth and that’s why at the age of 21, my milk tooth is still intact. If you look at my X-ray carefully, you’ll notice that one of them is hollow in the gum which means the tooth has got no root. It can fall off anytime and no adult tooth will grow out so we decided to just go ahead with that tooth since it has the highest risk of falling out. Here I made the next 2 appointments for my wisdom tooth extraction surgeries. Unlike other dental, iDental doesn’t give you the X-ray copies and your teeth model. I’m okay with that since you’ll probably just throw it out a few years later and I requested for them to send me my X-rays via email. By the way, the appointment was quite a wait and it’s probably due to everyone scheduling their appointments after their work. Since I’m often a few minutes late for my appointments and the clinic was quite full, I was okay with the wait. So far my weekend/weekday morning appointments are quite fast. First Wisdom Tooth Extraction Surgery (11 July 2017) If you don’t already know, wisdom tooth surgery gives you 5 days Medical Certificate (MC). Before I see Dr Dian, I was asked how I was going to pay the surgery and I paid mine with Medisave and the rest in cash. Before this appointment, I did consulted my regular dentist if he can do the extractions for me but his staff recommended I get the specialist to do it since mine is a complicated case and they require a letter from the orthodontist stating which teeth to extract to prevent any miscommunication. iDental is agreeable to have my teeth extracted somewhere else but I decided to just stick with iDental since it’s easier and safer this way. Before my surgery, Dr Dian went through the side effects of wisdom tooth surgery as a standard procedure, sign against it to acknowledge that I’m aware of the possible risks. Numbing cream then injections and they will cover your face with a cloth leaving only your mouth exposed. I requested to have my ears plugged with my earpiece and music playing to minimise the sound but I would say it’s not much of a help. The drilling sound is awfully loud, there’s so many hands pulling and pushing around my mouth and you’ll never imagine a dentist that look so gentle has this much strength. I didn’t think it was painful, it wasn’t supposed to hurt after injections anyway but the sound is really loud. This session, I extracted 2 teeth, 1 wisdom tooth and 1 milk tooth. We decided to do it side(right) by side(left) so I could at least eat with the other side. The milk tooth extraction was so easy I was convinced I can actually do it myself at home with the right tools. The wisdom tooth surgery is $800 and milk tooth is $60. Adding all the medicine and other stuff, it totaled up to $1,033.62 (Including GST) and I paid $969.42 by Medisave and the rest by cash. This surgery is more expensive due to the fact that it’s growing horizontally and buried completely under my gums. I was given a mask and on the way home I kept drooling but I couldn’t tell because half of my mouth was numbed. You will salivate a lot and it’s normal. Extraction is not included in the $3.5k braces package. Second Wisdom Tooth Surgery (24 July 2017) More or less the same thing happened. I put my earpiece on, numbing cream, injections and a mouthful of blood and saliva on the way home. I was told I don’t have to pay anything which I found it weird since I remember clearly I can only pay from Medisave for the wisdom tooth extraction and the adult tooth extraction had to be paid in cash. But I just left after taking my medications and I didn’t eat most of it, mainly the antibiotics only. Overall I would say my wisdom teeth extraction is quite pleasant and it wasn’t as torturing or scary or painful as what others have said. Maybe because I have quite a high tolerance for pain and the Dr Dian did a great job. Either way I’m glad it was smooth. Top Braces Installation (31 July 2017)  Wire Repair (28 August 2017) Bad idea to eat rambutans with braces on and that’s exactly what I did and my wire came off on 26 August 2017, Saturday. It wasn’t much of a big deal to me and since my next appointment is 4 September 2017, I thought I would wait just 1 week but Wesley insisted I go and get it fixed or at least call them and let them know. I called iDental and they advise me to see Dr Dian which I did and the whole appointment was less than 15 minutes and I didn’t have to pay for anything. So, whatever happens, just call your dentist. Luckily she was available on Monday in the evening so I could just drop by after work. Teeth Extraction (2 September 2017) By now you must be wondering how many teeth I removed. I removed a total of 6 teeth; 2 wisdom and 4 for braces purpose. My next appointment with Dr Dian was for the extraction of 2 lower teeth and to put on lower braces but after much thought, I decided to have my extractions done at my regular dental which is cheaper and nearer to my house. They charged $75 per tooth nett and I paid a total of $150 for 2 teeth. iDental charged $90 for 1 extraction and that’s before GST. If you think the difference is not much, you can do it at the same place. The difference is quite significant to me so I chose to do it at my regular dental. The process was quick and almost pain free. I went to JB right after my extractions and ate A&W for lunch about 3 hours after my extraction. I did eat any of the medication given to me since I felt fine. The horrible part was the numbing cream. The bleeding slowed down after about 2 hours and I decided to eat some bread as breakfast but I couldn’t feel my lower lips and I can’t tell if I’m biting the bread or my lip. I look like a mess basically. I tried drinking gongcha and it was a disaster, it kept flowing out of my mouth from everywhere and my Wesley was cleaning me up the whole time while laughing at me. It took 3 hours for the numb to go off completely and I was all normal again. Lower Braces Installation (4 September 2017) It’s really not easy to book appointments at iDental. This is the earliest date for me since I am only free after work or on weekends. Dr Dian is only in the clinic in the evening on Mondays and Saturdays she’s there for half a day only. I’m equally as excited as I was during my upper braces installation. It’s gonna feel weird and I might not be able to chew normally for a few weeks but I’m ready! This appointment I should only have to pay $180. It’s gonna be $180 for each appointment plus GST until I finish my $3.5K. (So I stopped recording until 13 Dec 2017 because I got lazy and by now I have already changed my braces colour rubber band for 3 times. I will still give a brief update on each session since I do record all my sessions in my calendar and I can recall more or less what the session was about.) 02 Oct 2017  30 Oct 2017  This time round I chose light yellow because Wesley said it might make me look for cheerful. Dr Dian removed the metal wires for the top braces and switched the wire to a thicker one. The bottom braces remained as it is with just a change of yellow rubber bands. It was tight for the first few days but nothing to crazy till I cannot eat or sleep. 27 Nov 2017  Initially, I mentioned it’s not easy to book an appointment, but you can usually find a slot if you book 1 month in advance which is usually the case since your appointment is once a month and the next appointment is booked once you finish your session with the dentist. You can call in to change your appointment but I usually stick to it. Whenever the wires are cutting my cheeks or lips, I can call in and book a 5 minutes appointment with the dentist and they will do some simple trimming or adjustment for me at no cost which is great, so I don’t have to suffer till my next month which would be weeks away. So far my braces journey has been smooth sailing and Wesley has been super nice, always peeling chicken wings and satay into smaller chunks just so I can eat them easily. This journey will end once all the gaps from the extractions close up which will take about 3 years and I'm sure I'll miss it when I'm done with braces. Before I decide on doing braces with iDental, I read lots of review and their experiences so I hope this will help someone in some way. I MISS YOU.
Posted Sunday, 4 June 2017 // 10:45 pm
 Have you ever thought that it was silly to cry because you were so touched or because you miss someone so badly? Have you ever thought that it was near impossible for that to happen to you? Well, I have and I always have until I met you. I found it stupid and silly and it was probably because I haven’t met someone that’s going to touch my heart the way that makes all the silly things make sense and reasonable. You’re silly but I like you. You can put so much effort into one card and it will still end up looking like a card that took less than 5 minutes. I see your effort and through your words, I see your sincerity. I am nothing magical yet you love me selflessly and treat me like a gem. You try your best not to spoil me yet you give in to me again and again every time I insist on something. The way you love me and the effort you put to show me touched me the way no one else has ever had. You make me feel loved and from then on, I know you’re different and you’re special. I don’t know how you tolerate it when I cry because every time I do, it breaks your heart. I never want to break your heart but my life is so tangled in yours that when you’re not by my side, I feel lost and miserable. Your presence always makes me feel safe and protected and what do I do without you now that I have known you? Seeing you becoming smaller and eventually disappeared from my sight is the saddest, I don’t think I will ever get used to it and I doubt it’s ever going to be easy. Saying goodbye is miserable especially now that I only see you on the weekends and it’s barely 48 hours. I have grown clingy and I never want to leave you. I miss you when you’re not by my side. This kind of “I miss you.” is the kind where no matter how many of your perfume-soaked-t-shirt I keep, it will never help. This kind of “I miss you.” is the kind where I need more than just your scent. I need your presence, your touch, your kisses and your hugs. This kind of “I miss you.” is the worst kind of “I miss you.” It’s easy to cry but because absence makes the heart grow fonder, I guess it is necessary and probably healthy for us too. For that, I will be strong and wait patiently for you to be back by my side again. No matter how long the wait is, I know you will be back by my side again. I know it might be hard for you to fathom this but every time I cry, all I meant to say was, I love you. |
Joyce. I'm a walking sunshine and I blog about everything and anything under the Sun. And, I might have a slight obsession with Jigsaw puzzles, Snow globes and Stars. twitter // tumblr // instagram mejor que todos.  Achieve.
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