❝ Chase your dreams ❞
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SOLITARY
Posted Monday, 20 October 2014 // 9:36 pm
 I'm not sure about you guys but I'm pass the stage where all I want to do is fit in. When I was about 11, I stood out like a sore thumb, I couldn't fit into any clique. Not that I had no friends, I just didn't find a group I fitted in. I mixed around with everyone and moved from groups to groups. Back then, I think I was ridiculous, trying to find a group where I fit in and never really fitted anywhere. I guess it was because of a bad start, realising the first friend I made was someone I shouldn't befriend with....... I don't really have any close friends from primary school, because I didn't know them well and vice versa, they don't really know me either. I just know everyone on the surface only. I did pity myself for not fitting in anywhere and I did feel lonely sometimes but they were all in the past. I DID. Everything happens for a reason, nothing is really an accident and every incident is an opportunity to learn. Because I didn't really fit in anywhere I learn to live the days alone. Just to clarify, I am not antisocial, I don't eat alone during recess, I don't go home alone and I do have friends. But they are the kind of friends I'll only see in school. I just don't hang out with them outside school. When I learn to live those days alone, I learn to love myself and appreciate myself too. We were all too young back then, we all just want to fit in, we would do anything just to fit in. Pushing who we really are to the bottom and cover it with whatever it takes for us to fit in. I did want to fit in too, but I was never the kind of person that could be tied down. I be myself and that's why I didn't really fit into any clique. They are not the kind of friends I want in my life, they are the friends I only need in school. Why do we want to fit in? Simple. Because we were too afraid of being alone. It was like being alone is a crime, a sin and we never want to go anywhere or do anything alone. One day you'll grow up mentally and realise being alone is better. REASONS WHY BEING ALONE IS BETTER Not having to please others Having to please everyone is a pain in the arse. (Have I already said this somewhere?) We all know we can't please everyone and it's easier to piss everyone than to please everyone. And pleasing others doesn't always mean you'll be pleased too. When you're alone, there's only one person you need to please and that is yourself. Who cares about others' expectations or feelings? When you're alone, only you matter, only your opinion matters and only your preference matters. Wear whatever you want, eat as much as you want and do whatever you want. (Legally.) Clear brain, clearer thoughts You think better without noises trying to mislead you. I know friends do give suggestions and opinions about situations but are they constructive or destructive? Even if they are constructive, is that what you really want to do? "You should......" "It's better if you......" "If I were you, I would........" These noises distract you from what you really want. When you're alone, you won't hear these noises, you'll hear one voice and that is your voice telling you what you really want. Unfortunately, sharing isn't really the best all the time Sharing is caring? Oh yes, it is! But there are times where I rather not share cause it's better to do it alone. Times like- reading in bed, jogging, eating pizza and shopping. I actually do hate eating alone but it's pizza, I can eat it alone. Shopping, I hate having the pressure to quickly leave the shop just because my companion doesn't like the shop. Alone is good when it comes to shopping, I can take as much time as I want without feeling bad. Alone, no pressure. The lesser the easier Times like having lunch in a packed restaurant or catching the latest movie, you often have to wait for a very long time due to insufficient spaces. If you're alone, you can almost don't wait at all. I haven't done any of it alone but I do know of friends that watch movie alone and she said you can get very good seats for the latest film, cause couples usually leave a space between other couples and you can get that one seat in between them! I'm pretty sure we all have come across this situation where the number of seats available for a movie is sufficient for you and group but the seats are not together and you guys decide to not watch that movie or pick a later timing. "Me time" It's my time! We all need some "me time", doing the things we love and relax. Constantly hanging out with your friends can be very exhausting and energy draining. Your body needs a break, your mind needs a break. Lie in bed and rot, watch a movie on your laptop, eat ice cream straight from the tub or read a book. Who cares what you do, as long as you're happy. But before you decide to tell people to get lost because you're having your "me time", make sure you have already done what you're suppose to do. "Me time" is important but you have to be responsible and not neglect the rest of the world. Never say you're too busy because if you really value it, you'll squeeze some time out for it no matter how packed your schedule is. "Love me!", says me. You'll come to love yourself and boost your self-esteem. Your self-esteem comes from how you portrait yourself and without all the negative comments, you'll naturally be more positive. Whether the negativity from your friends is a joke or not, you'll still be affected. Some people just want to bring us down and easiest way is to bring down our self-esteem. Remember not all friends meant well. When you're left alone, you have no one to face but yourself and no one to blame but yourself. When you're alone, you see the good in you and realise what you're capable of. However, you'll see the flaws in you too and learn to accept it. So many times, we blame others for things that went wrong when we were the ones that failed. When you're alone, you have no one to blame and you'll learn how to overcome it or accept it. Slowly, but eventually. Who I am today, is because of what had happened and how I see it. I am happy because I be myself and I do not bother pleasing others. I'm deemed to be mature thinking and that's only because I've been through enough to think more. I like meeting new people but hate making friends and that's due to a fear of bad friends. I define the people I know very clearly because I take in energy around me very easily and it's only right if I stay away from negative energy. Never be afraid for being alone. |
Joyce. I'm a walking sunshine and I blog about everything and anything under the Sun. And, I might have a slight obsession with Jigsaw puzzles, Snow globes and Stars. twitter // tumblr // instagram mejor que todos.  Achieve.
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